2004
MusicBizAdvice.com Whatchamacallem Awards
We at MusicBizAdvice.com are tired of awards that make
you wonder what in the cat’s hair the nominating committee was thinking, so
we created our own and have the cajones to tell you why. A note on release
dates for most of our major label song awards: for most song categories,
songs were eligible based on airplay on our local radio stations, not on the
actual date of release. As long as there was regular rotation when we chose
the winners, we didn’t quibble. The process? Nominations and voting amongst
staff members, amidst much lively discussion. As for the award itself...Waddaya
think we are, made of money?
Song We Can’t Stop Hitting the “Repeat” Button On:
“should’ve listened”
nickelback.
Why: Because the angry-sad delivery of the vocal will tear your
heart out.
Close Second:
“somebody told me” the
killers
Why: Because most of us who grew up in the 80’s had a boyfriend who
looked like somebody’s old girlfriend.
Song We're the
Most Sick of, But Kudos to You for Your Success:
"she will be loved" maroon
5
Why: We love the album and even liked this song at first, but
for the love of God, there’s a limit to how many times we can listen to the
falsetto in the chorus.
Close Second:
“drop it like it’s hot” snoop
dogg.
Why: Monotony.
Song to Get
Your Butt Out on the Dance Floor:
"shake ya tail featha"
nelly
Why: Maybe we heard Rick Dees’ “Disco Duck” one too many times
over the years, but aside from having a great hook, the title gives some of
us a hilarious visual.
Close Second:
“whatcha waitin’
for” gwen stefani
Why: The multilayered production and pounding rhythm sounds like a
rave in your radio.
Song
Lyric
We Love:
"someday,"
nickelback
Why: A good song lyric tells a story and works together with the
melody to form a strong, cohesive partnership that creates a picture in the
listener’s imagination. This one does, memorably.
Close Second:
“comin’ where i’m
from” anthony hamilton
Why: Good story telling, and nice turn of a phrase.
Song We Love In a TV Commercial:
"have love will travel" the
sonics.
(land Rover)
Why: It just rocks.
Close Second:
"picture book"
the kinks (HP Digital Photography)
Why: A perfect fit for the product.
TV Show
Theme
Song We Love:
the craig ferguson show.
Why: This happy little tune is fun like the show and ain't bad
musically, either.
Rediscovered
Cover Song We Love:
“give a little bit,”
goo goo dolls.
Why: We’d been wishing someone would rediscover this great Supertramp
ballad. John Rzeznik and company did, and made it their own.
Close Second:
“the first cut is the
deepest,” sheryl crow.
Why: Another great example of covering a song and making it
your own.
Song We
Love That We Wish Someone Would Rediscover:
"empty garden"
elton john
Why: Haunting lyrics (a metaphor about the death of Elton’s friend
John Lennon) coupled with a solemn melody builds to shouts of desperation as
the subject of the lyric tries to find his friend. Done well, this song
makes for a powerful live performance.
Close Second:
“time for me to fly,”
reo speedwagon.
Why: One of the first album rock power ballads (1978), it still holds
up as a good piece of songwriting without sounding dated, sounds great even
unplugged, and has lyrics to match.
Major Label
Album We Love:
the long road,
nickelback
Why: Gritty, screaming vocals and jamming guitars combined
with damn good melodies and memorable lyrics can’t miss. Favorite tracks:
“Should’ve Listened,” “Someday.”
Close Second:
beautifully human,
jill scott
Why: One Amazon review described it as "lush and hypnotic," and we
agree.
Major Label
Album We Would Have Loved Had it Lived Up to the Hype…But
It Didn't:
franz ferdinand,
franz ferdinand
Why: While we like a lot of the album, some of the songs just
seem…unfinished.
Close Second:
We’re not sure whether it’s because CDs are getting better or if
it's that years of inconsistent CDs have lowered our expectations (we
suspect the latter), none of us could come up with a close second.
Major Label
Album We Love that You Probably Didn't Hear:
this left feels
right, bon jovi
Why: See Artist Creative Kudos Award
Close Second:
subject, dwele.
Why: Smooth and creative, with a sound that reminds us of a cool
drink of lemonade on a hot summer day in the city.
Commercial
Radio Show Playlist We Love:
jonesy's
jukebox.
Why: Variety, variety, variety.
Non-American
Idol Music Business-Related TV Show We Love:
barely
famous: the warren brothers
Why: At times it's a bit like watching a version of Raising
Arizona where the goal is music industry success.
Close Second:
bands
reunited
Why: Drama, baby.
Major Label
Artist Creativity Kudos Award:
nelly and tim
mcgraw “over and over.”
Why: Two performers who couldn’t be more different in terms of
music and image came together, and the major label system actually supported
it.
Close Second:
bon jovi, this left feels
right.
Why: Despite knowing that some fans and execs would be upset,
the band bucked the system and took a huge creative risk by drastically
changing some fan favorites and satisfying their inner artists. The result
is an album that’s every bit as Grammy worthy as some of the
heavy-campaigning, much-hyped competition.
MaINSTREAM
Artist Who Gives Us the Most Hope for the Music Industry:
avril levigne.
Why: Writing her own songs and having commercial success
without breaking into a dance groove gives us hope that all is not lost.
Close Second:
nickelback.
Why: Because they’re a hard-working band whose work is actually being
recognized.
Mainstream
Artist with the Most Potential for Longevity, with
Good Material and Proper Career Management:
alicia keys
Why: Being a classically-trained piano prodigy would give any
artist an edge, but being a self-contained artist by writing her own songs
means not having to constantly rely on the talent of others.
Close Second:
usher
Why: Already a well-seasoned industry pro at age 26, with good career
direction he’s not even close to being done.
New Major
Label Artist with the Most Potential for Longevity, with Good Material and
Proper Career Management:
ryan cabrerra
Why: Decent songwriting, a timeless sound, and a marketable
image.
Close Second:
gavin degraw
Why: Songwriting, songwriting, songwriting.
American
Idol Alum with the Most Potential for Career
Longevity, with Good Material and Proper Career Management:
clay aiken
Why: This was close, very close. Some staff members felt this award
should go to Kelly Clarkson, but Clay's older, less-fickle fan base and
timeless sound give him a slight edge. With good material and proper
management, Clay could be the next Barry Manilow…and an over 30-year career
ain’t bad.
Close second:
kelly clarkson.
Why: Because she’s likeable, has a huge voice, and her story
reminds us that if the girl next door works hard enough, she wins.
Best Publicity
Machine:
jessica
simpson
Why: Publicity and marketing synergy, and she remains
untouched by sister Ashlee’s SNL debacle.
Close Second:
american idol.
Why: A simple concept that has far outdone the multitudes of
talent shows that went before.
Worst
Publicity Machine:
ashlee
simpson
Why: Lame excuses.
Close second:
britney spears
Why: Eye-rolling as a reaction to a news item about an artist
is never a good thing.
Resurrected
Career:
motley crue.
Why: In spite of all their ups and downs in the media, they’re still
a damn good band we hated to see go away.
Close Second:
barry manilow.
Why: Barry never really went away, but suddenly he’s hot again
(with a touch of cool this time), and his voice sounds as young as it ever
did.
Rediscovered
Talent (Chosen by MusicBizAdvice.com readers via number of
page hits):
tom waits
Why: Call him unconventional, hell, even call him weird! But that
doesn’t change the fact that he’s one of the most influential songwriters of
the past 20 years.
Close Second:
There is none.
Artist
with Best Expansion into Non-Music Business Areas:
jessica simpson
Why: Lots of irons in lots of fires, most of which have nothing to do
with music.
Close Second:
sean “p.
diddy” combs.
Why: Two words: Sean Jean.
Music
Industry Personality Most Likely to be an Entertainment
Mogul in 20 Years:
jay-z
Why: A relatively quick rise with all the right mentors, plus artists
relate to him, since he is one.
Close Second:
usher.
Why: No specifics yet; we just have a good feeling about the guy.
Music
Industry Hero of the Year:
erin "stoney" halk and jeffrey
"mayhem" thompson, the road crew members who lost their lives
trying to protect Dimebag Darrell and others during the fatal nightclub
shooting that killed Dimebag and three others and injured 3.
No less heroic:
Tour manager chris paluska and drum
tech john "kat" brooks, who tried to help and survived. Finally,
extra honors to nathan bray,
the fan who died while trying to help.
Biggest
Music Business Blunder (Performance):
ashlee simpson's snl
lip-sync debacle, known around our office as the Saturday Night
Lip-sync incident.
Why: There were so many Blunders associated with that one
performance, our Music Business Blunders
column
was stocked for weeks. And uh…the name of the show is Saturday Night
Live.
Close Second:
alicia keys doing a dance break in
the middle of a performance at an awards show.
Why: Would Elton John or Billy Joel step away from the piano mid-song
and go into a dance break? No, and neither should the classically-trained
Keys.
Biggest
Music Business Blunder (Non-Performance):
twentieth television and fox not
following through with building ryan seacrest’s
ill-fated on air with ryan seacrest tv show around daily live musical
performances as planned.
Why: Seacrest is far more entertaining than any of hosts on TRL,
and getting the younger audience interested in live music again could have
significantly impacted CD sales...not to mention the live touring industry.
Close Second:
taking away the power
of the commercial radio dj.
Why: More musical variety equals more creative inspiration for future
artists, and more CD sales...and some of us don't care to pay for our radio
fix.
Biggest
Waste of an Aspiring Artist's Money:
online modeling & talent agencies.
Why: A good look at this
website, which lists the multiple aliases and pending investigations of many
of them, should tell you.
Move Most
Likely to Impact the Music Business At Large:
the re-election of george w. bush
Why: Close ties between Clear Channel's founders and key board
members to George W. Bush, plus Clear Channel's campaign contributions and
influence on the presidential election through its vast media holdings.
Close second:
anti-trust
investigations against some major venue promo and radio programming firms.
Why: It will be interesting to see how all of the above plays out.
Fasten your seatbelts, folks…and fine-tune your Plan B.
Music
Industry Trend We Wish Would Just Go Away:
the lack of artist development by
record labels.
Why: The fast-buck mentality of not letting an artist use their first
two albums to develop their craft has created a bevy of artists who are
clueless about basics like live performance. The quality of songwriting is
affected, too.
Close Second:
lip-synching.
Why: It’s creating legions of would-be singers who can’t sing, and
they must be stopped. |
