The Starving Musician Entertains
Formal Table Setting 101: What's All This Silverware, and Where
Does it Go? Part 1
Got formal dinner silverware etiquette anxiety? Fear not, because after setting your
own formal table (or eating at them) a few times, you'll never be afraid of silverware again. You
may not have all the pieces mentioned here, and that's OK. Use what you
have, borrow what you need for your menu, and omit what you don't. I include
all the pieces here so you'll know what to do if you find yourself at a
formal dinner facing a lot of silverware (which happens to rock stars more
often than you might think).
The main thing to remember: table setting is designed for
convenience, and that for each course, the correct fork to use is usually on the
outside.
If you're at a formal dinner and a course arrives with implements, those are
what you should use. Simple, right? Now let's set your own table:
If possible, try to set the table two days in advance--especially if your
home is kid-and pet- free or you can close dining room doors. You'll be
much more relaxed knowing it's out of the way, and it will look better
because you didn't rush.
After the table cloth and centerpiece, arrange the empty serving dishes on
the table where they'll be on the big day. Once you have the serving dishes
where you want them, place under each dish a Post-it note with a description of
the serving dish and what will be in it: "white oval casserole--green
beans." Place another Post-it inside each dish telling what goes inside.
This reminds you, and allows your guests to easily help when things get
crazy in the kitchen.
Now the plates: if you have charger plates, those go on first. If you're
like the rest of us, the dinner plates go on first--all the same distance
apart, about 2" from the edge of the table. If your plates have a design,
place them so the design faces the same way at each place setting (no
flowers growing upside down please).
The folded napkin sits on the plate, with a napkin ring or not.
Spring for cloth napkins; guests and post-holiday dates will be impressed.
If napkins are large, fold them into fourths (square), then fold in thirds
into a rectangle. Then the napkin ring goes around, if you're using them.
Etiquette note: Some old etiquette books have the napkin at the far
left of the place setting, but most modern dining tables aren't large
enough, so this changed in the late '30's-early '40's.
Forks go to the left of the dinner plate. Start by placing the dinner fork
next to the plate. Working outward, the second course fork comes next, then
the next, ending with either the fish fork (also called the cocktail fork),
or salad fork on the outside. The fork for whatever comes first on the menu goes on the
outside, and the fork for whatever comes last on the menu (before dessert) goes on the
inside, next to the dinner plate. If you're ending the meal with a salad
course before dessert, the salad fork is the fork next to the dinner plate.
Cute as they may be, if you're not serving seafood, leave off the cocktail
forks. Etiquette Note: Some people put the cocktail fork on the right, next to the soup spoon.
According to the books we consulted, technically either is
correct. We prefer the left because it's less confusing for guests.
Moving to the right side of the dinner plate...Start with the dinner knife
next to the dinner plate, blade facing the plate, unless you want to send an
enemy at the table a signal (not recommended for holidays due to Karmic
fallout). Working outward to the right, the teaspoon goes next to the knife,
then the soup spoon on the outside, if you're serving soup. If you're
using salad knives or fruit knives or fish knives,
insert them into the lineup so that the correct knife arrives on the outside
at the same time as its corresponding fork for the course. The steak
knife, if your meal requires it, goes between the dinner knife and the
teaspoon.
Dessert forks or spoons and coffee spoons can either be brought in with dessert, or if your
table is large enough, you can place them horizontally at the top of the
place setting above the dinner plate, with the coffee spoon
closest to the dinner plate with the bowl of the spoon pointing toward the
left, handle toward the right. The dessert fork or spoon is farthest up top, with the
tines of the fork pointing toward the right and the handle on the left.
(If it's a dessert spoon instead, its bowl points to the left and the handle
to the right.) Etiquette Note: There are many variations of this in etiquette books, and many older books
say that at dinner, there must be no more than three forks per place setting
at a time. But that was when people had servants to carry things in, so unless
you're entertaining royalty or a dignitary, do what works best for your
situation.
Part 2
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